I am not the best public speaker. I tend to lean on clothes to make up for my physical shortcomings or what living within a narrative I have not penned tells me are my physical shortcomings.
Being a woman. Being short. Being fat.
This is not what power looks like; it echo's throughout the emptying theater.
The images that fill my brain when I want to summon power through posturing or possession are muted tones, height, sharp edges, precise angles, well defined lines. This is what comes to mind. Not necessarily what I think, or maybe more accurately, what I would like to think of as a powerful aesthetic.
Before I go to bed I like to lay out my clothes for the following day. What mood will I be in tomorrow? What mood am I in tonight that may bleed into tomorrow? What mood do I want to be in tomorrow?
Tonight I am feeling my black blazer with red roses embroidered along the sides. Black metal earrings pointing downward like arrows to the center of the earth. Chunky black loafers that give me a bump of height. Black leggings. Black sheer dress in which I cut the sleeves off of years ago. Black crop top. Long necklace to balance out the silhouette. I am a shadow.
I hope that in time color and softness and whimsy and tulle and curves and loud patterns and small patterns and silk scarves and ribbons in hair and ornate buttons will be what comes to mind for me immediately when I think of a powerful aesthetic.
I'll wear my black blazer. Perhaps I'll throw some turquoise eyeliner into the mix.
Power is not reflected in what you wear, but in your confident belief in what you wear. I believe that when you wear what you love, that confidence shines through. One of the most powerful women in my life is a 5’3”, 285 lb woman who wears what she loves and some of it is some crazy shit. No one she encounters ever doubts her power, while I have honed my power of invisibility. Here's to a future of bright red tulle to go with that turquoise eyeliner!
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked in the office and had to give a presentation, I would always wear the largest scarf I could find to hide the inevitable bright red blushing in my chest and neck. I once wore a scarf the size of a throw blanket, It was so large someone asked if I could move my neck. I started doing the robot and I felt better.
ReplyDelete